sunset over pensacola sound

sometimes i think
i could catch the sunset
if i cup my hand just right
and i would place it in my pocket -
the one on my shirtfront -
and it would bulge
like a big rubber ball

and you would ask me,
“what’s that in your pocket?”
and i would tell you the sun
but you wouldn’t believe me

so i would take the sun out
and show you the sun
and i would let you hold it
in your hand
and you would know what it’s like
to touch a sunset

there’s a pain behind your eyes
you’re just scratching at the surface
of something that never existed anyway
heavy breathing
heavy footsteps
heavy…
            life

stop asking for forgiveness
i’m no savior for you or anyone
what’s worth saving anyway
it’s unbecoming
un-ladylike
un…
            couth

all the good stuff is at the bottom of the bottle

tip it over and tongue it like a lush

stumble through the darkness

fiddle with the keyhole

say “fuck it” and crumble to the floor

                                           sleep

you’ll wake when the sun breaks through dirty windows
half-hung over
all the way gone

                        ready for another round

there’s a half-empty bottle of jack
laying on its side atop the motel dresser;
thick amber drips and pools -
like a message -
on the tile floor
reflecting blue, red, blue
from the neon sign outside the window
he sits in a chair as worn as himself
and watches the bottle
she sits on the end of a bed
stained with memories
and watches him
with eyes sad as rain
he stands;
moves lazy to the door
and into the cold november night
she stands;
picks up the bottle,
wipes a tear from her cheek
and washes down the pain

“self completion is akin to emotional masturbation”

- this is more for me than anything. i commented it on a blog over at sarahjaneprosetry, which is an excellent collection of poetry and prose, by the way (you should check it out) and wanted to write it down where i would see it and remember it because i may use it later…

that is all

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